sensitive

How To Keep Yourself Grounded as a Sensitive Person

Cautious, solitary, intuitive, creative, passionate… Those are just some words that are synonymous of being considered “sensitive” in society today. And if you identify as a sensitive person, then you’re going to want to read this.

I’m going to share with you how to feel less anxious about the daily pressures that are put on you, and why you can feel more confident about your unique, and frankly quite beautiful nature (in my humble opinion).¬†

 

Special, but often misunderstood 

 

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“Sensitive” does imply an elements of increased¬†perception.¬†But increased perception of what?¬†

Well what’s for sure is that sensitive people¬†do not¬†have better¬†senses¬†(eye-sight, hearing, smell, touch)¬†than most other people.¬†

This label simply means you’re more sensitive to those stimuli, and other more…¬†intagible¬†stimuli. (Inidividual and collective moods, social dynamics…etc)

Being a sensitive person doesn’t mean you can hear better than most other people (that’s called being a mutant), it means if you’re with a group of people and there’s heavy construction happening downstairs… others might be fine within reason but you probably can’t deal with it at all.

It means you’re more susceptible to taking on people’s moods. You’re more receptive,¬†and potentially more¬†empathetic.¬†

You tend to need more time to get used to new situations, more time to warm up to new people, and time alone to feel comfortable again.

It’s not easy to be that way because for one, most people aren’t like that.¬†Let’s just get that out of the way from the start.¬†

Dr. Elaine Aron is a practicing¬†psychotherapist in¬†Mill Valley, CA (USA). She’s also the author of a¬†National Bestseller¬†on the topic of sensitive people: The Highly Sensitive Person, How To Thrive in a Word That Overwhelms You

I highly suggest you read it if you’re looking for some deeper insight on this subject.

She and her colleagues determined that sensitive people should comprise approximately 15 to 20% of the human population. 

So about 17% on average, that’s like…

1 in 5 people.

 

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So if you’ve got a tight knit group of a friends you like to hang out with (your squad), yeah… you’re probably the sensitive one.

They love you and certainly mean well but let’s face it, they don’t really understand you on that level.¬†

Raise your hand if one of your friends has ever suggested you stop being so “anti-social”.¬†

Welcome, take a seat on the feel train. We’re almost home.¬†

And if you’re that friend, good because there’s something I need you to understand right now and for the rest of your life:¬†

 

Every person experiences situations in their own unique way. 

 

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Even if we’re dealing with the same exact situation and two different¬†people.
 
Your perception, is exactly that, it’s yours.¬†
 
A 5 hour shopping marathon might be a “fun” and “relaxing” thing to you, but for some people that exact same activity gets old after like¬†half an hour.
 
And then they’ve got shit to do, and potentially other places they’d rather be (like in bed).¬†
 
This difference in the way we process information is largely inherited, and it has it’s roots in the development of our nervous systems.
 
It’s very real, and of course very¬†normal.
 
Recognizing that we all deserve respect despite having different inclinations I think is part of what being a decent human being means.
 
Different strokes for different folks. 
 
You go finish your shopping/party marathon, I’ll go finish my nap/book/video-game/movie/drawing/music-production/[insert other creative and highly “productive” activity here]
 
No love lost.
 

For better or worse…

 

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The good news is that this greater awareness of the subtle tends to make a sensitive person more intuitive. Which is simply a fancy way of describing the act of processing information in a semiconscious or unconscious way.
 
People who are more intuitive often feel like they “just know” certain things, without being able to put their finger on how they could possibly have confidence in that knowledge.
 
Now, that’s all good, I’m schmoozing the sensitive people reading this, but remember the dark-side of intuition and being a sensitive person:¬†
 
  • First of all, it hurts to say but your intuition is wrong about as often as it is right. The fact is that sometimes you get that same¬†certainty¬†feeling..and you’re still¬†wrong.¬†Again, it’s sad to say but a friendly tip would be to not rely on this “sixth sense” until you have no other options. At which point of course it becomes ¬†a better “tool” than no tool right.¬†¬†
  • Secondly, the fact that you’re so sensitive means that things that are only¬†moderately¬†stimulating to other people will be¬†very¬†stimulating to you. Good experiences and not so good experiences. Ice cream or… people screaming downstairs. It’s going to hit you way harder.
It’s important to know these things about yourself so you can learn to make decisions in harmony with your biology. This is the first key to staying grounded in all situations. Making decisions that make¬†you¬†comfortable. You’ll often have to choose between other people’s “good opinion” of you, and your own¬†well-being.
 
Equally as important for your well-being as a sensitive person: 
 

Understand what triggers you. 

 

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We all have our pet-peeves¬†at an individual level, but if you can’t name certain things you should stay away from, just remember this general rule:
 
Stimulation we have no control over tends to be more upsetting.
 
It’s why you don’t mind loud music when you’re the one playing it, but when it’s coming from the neighbors…
 
The (real) reason it’s driving you crazy is because you know you’re at the mercy¬†of not only their¬†taste in music, but also their mood and their current¬†appetite¬†for music.¬†
 
Questions:
  • What situations tend to¬†instantly¬†drive you up the wall?¬†
  • What adjustments could you make in your life to avoid finding yourself in such situations?
  • Why is that important to you?
It doesn’t matter how you’ve been treated up until this point.. You’re definitely not alone out here, and it’s alright for you to get treated the way you deserve to be treated: With fairness, and respect.¬†
 
Cheers everyone. ūüôā¬†
 

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¬†Accomplish your personal goals¬†tomorrow today. ūüôā¬†

¬†I’m also on¬†Quora¬†(where I answer random questions)¬†¬†

¬†You can also grab¬†The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron if you’d like to dig deeper into this topic.¬†¬†

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