I always say that confidence is not a trait, but a skill.
Traits are your natural features such as the ability to breathe, think rationally as well as your genetically enherited temperament. They make up who you are, (human) and what you’re about (business I hope).
Skills on the other hands, are attributes that you add to your person by way of learning, and they too can easily become part of who are if you are willing to seriously drill them into your daily routine for long enough. Some people believe that habits are acquired after as little as 21 days. And if that’s true, then you’ve got your work cut out for you. 🙂
Read: Habit Formation: The 21-Day Myth by Jason Selk.
Having “Bullet-Proof Confidence”, is having a sense of self-worth so strong that almost nothing can shake you off your center. The way you develop Bullet-Proof Confidence is by achieving balance in 3 areas of your life:
- The physical
- The professional
- The spiritual
Taking care of your body is the most basic (and crucial) step you could take in the direction of self-confidence, I simply could not stress this enough.
Unbalanced body = Unbalanced mind.
And this is true because of the direct connection existing between your mind and your body. How you feel dictates how you think. I mean we all know our emotions affect our health.
Read: How Our Emotions Affect Our Health by Gregg Braden if you want to know the mechanics behind this phenomenon.
The reverse is obviously true I mean don’t you feel miserable on sick days?
Me too. 🙂
“To keep the body in good health is a duty, otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”
And you need a strong mind to develop bullet-proof confidence. If you’re interested in getting this part of life in order, I might not be the person to help but I’ve got friends in high places who can. You can check out Nate’s page if you’re interested in learning more about getting in shape and living healthy. That’s his field of expertise.
Why do you get up in the morning?
Does this excite you, or drain you? If you wake up excited to do what you’re about to do, then great, but if you don’t, then why are you still doing it? Maybe you have a good reason, or maybe, by thinking about it, you will realize that you don’t and that it’s time for a change. There is confidence to be extracted from the identification of this reason (or the lack thereof), as well as the identification of the motives behind this reason.
You will know with certainty what it is that you stand for, and why, and with this comes an incredible sense of direction and self-worth.
The kind that makes people do hard work and passionate love. But to attain this sense of self worth, you have to be willing to look yourself in the mirror and definite yourself.
Who are you really?
“I’m Sam, I do my work every day to provide for my family because family satisfaction is part of my core set of values. I want my kids to have everything they need, I want my wife to have everything she needs and I want my relatives to have everything they need. This is what I stand for, this is why I do the work I do, and if I can make a positive difference in this world while doing it than my life will have been well spent.”
You go Sam! 😀
Read: 5 Reasons You Should Have a Purpose by LifeCoach Celestine Chua.
Define your values and define your purpose. It’s so critical. You wouldn’t be able to do anything with your body if it came without a spine running through the back. Now what’s the spine of your life?
Very true. pic.twitter.com/U9UxwFV8BL
— New Confident Life (@Tips4Confidence) October 8, 2015
You need to have some type of activity you enjoy doing and some type of activity you’re getting paid to do, ideally it’s the same. Then you need to find a greater cause to which you can dedicate yourself. You need to find a purpose to create that quality in your life, that drive that people find so attractive.
Read: How To Be Charismatic
This motivation will seriously solidify your sense of personal worth.
Read: 8 Shortcuts To Desire & Motivation by Steve Pavlina.
Steve really goes into detail on exactly what you can do to find your passion and get motivated to start living your “charged life”, as Brandon Burchard, who’s one of the top motivation trainers in the world would say.
Read: How To Overcome Fear by Brandon Burchard.
Also try to surround yourself with people who love and appreciate who you truly are.
That way you won’t ever have to pretend, and you will always have support in your life. And even a supremely confident person will need support at times.
Improve your life
Always seek to improve yourself and get better at what you do, whether it be your job performance or just simply improving your social environement. Although as I talk about in my Social Power™ course, the two are often linked.
Improving your life as whole (who you are as a person and working on your social skills) will always translate to more career success.
This is because if those who have the power to raise you up think highly of you, love and appreciate what you do then you put yourself in a position to succeed.
And as you know from my post on ambition, success engages in a feedback loop when it interacts with confidence. They feed into eachother.
Finally, understand that people will judge you no matter what you do.
It’s a fact that in this life, you simply cannot please everybody, even if you knew all the material on this blog, and others, by heart, it wouldn’t happen. Why not?
Because all the social skills in the world couldn’t take away your uniqueness. And once you’re unique, you’re different than the rest. And once you’re different.. you know the story, then there’s always a risk that someone might not appreciate who you are, even if you’ve done no wrong to them.
You have to accept that as part of life, and learn to focus on yourself and the people that do care about you.
Coming to this understanding is what will truly make your self-confidence bullet-proof and help you cope with fears of being rejected or judged. Somebody somewhere will judge you negatively no matter what you choose to do. So you might as well be yourself and let these people judge you for you and what you accomplished. 🙂